Aug 13 2008
Parenting, or lack thereof, nowadays
Children can be wonderful and very precious things, if they’re loved and brought up correctly. I’m not one that likes kids, but I will admit that if a kid is well behaved then even I will be willing to smile at them. Those are the types of kids I like, yet way too often I see the type of kids that scream their little heads off, run wild in public, knock stuff off shelves and then take off running so they won’t be responsible for picking it up, knock little old ladies that can barely walk over or those who just have a hard time walking in general thanks to the kid’s stupid heelies shoes. You get the point. I’m sure everyone has seen those types of kids more often than they like, or like to admit, while out and about doing their shopping. Trust me, I worked at a retail store as a cashier for over two years so I’ve seen it all when it comes to kids. What seems to continuously boggle my mind is even if the kid gets caught and the parent told what their precious little snowflake did, why don’t the parent(s) of the kid then turn to him or her and make them do the right thing like say they’re sorry, or offer to help pick up whatever they knocked down, or offer to help out whom they knocked down.
Today’s training/raising up of kids has gone right down the toliet and is almost non-existant. Sure there are those parents out there who are the exceptions to the rule and are doing their best to teach their kid manners, how to behave in public, around company, etc. and I certainly do applaude those parents. Unfortunately though you see way too often the supposed parent who sits their kid down in front of the TV with some soda to drink and a bag of chips and tells them to just sit there and stay quiet. Sometimes the kid’s playing a video game, but still surrounded by unhealthy drinks and unhealthy snack food. When a kid has a problem and needs to talk to their parent about it that parent is too busy to even bother and just ends up shooing their kid away. These kids soon learn that if they whine enough they’ll get what they want just so their parent doesn’t have to listen to them any more. Lots and lots of times the whining isn’t just about the new toy that they saw on TV that they just ‘omg! gotta have!’, but it’s about the new toy that they saw in the kid’s meals that these fast food restaurants have like McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s, etc. What does this lead to? Fat kids with health problems because of their weight, lack of wanting to exercise, low self-esteem because they’re constantly teased at school, and becoming fat adults with a series of growing health problems.
Now true, I’m not the most ideal parent myself. I mean, my daughter does live with my in-laws, but when my partner and I originally asked them to take care of our daughter to the best of their abilities they by all means promised that they would and they’re keeping up their part of their promise. Yes she has her TV shows that she likes to watch, but then she also loves going out and spending time in the swimming pool (when the weather’s hot enough), going on bike rides, going out to play with her friend down the street, etc. For indoor activities she not only watches TV, but she takes out her legos and builds stuff, colors, draws, reads her books, etc. My in-laws and I even have built up some good communication with her so that she’s willing to come to either my in-laws or call me on the phone when something’s bothering her and we’re able to talk things out. When she gets in trouble I’m able to talk to her about it so that she actually listens to what I’m telling her and learns so that hopefully she won’t do that same thing again that got her in trouble. I also make sure to try and call her at least once a day just to see how her day went and if she’s got anything exciting planned for future days. My MIL has told me several times that because of this Baby Girl looks forward to my phone calls every night and gets so disappointed when I’m not able to call for whatever reason. It’s because of this, and that I try and visit when I can, that I’ve also been told before by Mom (yes, I call her Mom too) that she considers me a far better parent than a lot of other parents that she’s come across because a lot of them are ones that I mentioned earlier that don’t seem to want to take their parental role seriously. That makes me sad knowing that this is the state of kids and parents nowadays.
2 Responses to “Parenting, or lack thereof, nowadays”
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What’s really leaving me flabbergasted is that the response seems to be to clamp down tighter on what parents are allowed to do to discipline kids, and expand the freedoms of the children.
No wonder kids don’t keep to any kind of ‘place’, they don’t know how, they’ve not had any limits defined. That’s what rules are supposed to do, along with keeping the children safe enough to reach adulthood.
People wonder why others do thing that earn them Darwin Awards. Gee, could it be because the children were never taught that causes have effects?
There are certainly a lot of out-of-control children out there and I know mine have had a few wild moments in public. They are two and four years old and both pretty lively. I do my best as a mother and, although I think overall I do a pretty good job, I know I fall short sometimes.
I’m not saying this is you, but the thing that gets to me about many people who complain about ‘kids these days’, is that so many adults (who should know better) are modeling some very selfish and rude behavior themselves. How can teachers who do not speak respectfully to their students expect their students to be respectful to them? How can parents who lie or cheat on their taxes expect their children to be truthful? How can merchants who are rude to their customers (teenagers or not) expect those same customers - or their children - to be polite to them?
Children can be a bit wild - from toddler up to teenager (and, frankly I think it goes a bit beyond that) and there needs to be a place for them to get that wildness out, but there have to be adults out there who are showing them what good behavior is.
I agree 100% that keeping our children ‘quiet’ with toys, tv, video games and fast food is certainly not the answer… They do need to go outside and play and have those creative outlets for their imaginations. They need to have adults - not just their parents and grandparents - who listen to them and respect them, even when they push the envelope a bit with their behavior.
Part of what I’m trying to say is that nobody is trying to have feral children who knock over little old ladies. It’s really tough to make the right decisions every time, every day. We all need help and patience from the people around us in order to raise the children of our society to be good citizens.